I'm standing alone, my heart full of pain. The clouds cover me, as I stare into the window. Inside, it's warm, and safe from the rain.
It feels as if I've been shot through the chest. I shiver in the cold, piercing through my shirt, Ever so lonely, suddenly, and they say it's for the best?
I turn around as you glance my way. Your deep blue eyes, that shine so bright, They stare at me, begging me to stay.
You run outside to me, destroying my pain. You swing me around, laughing, And together we dance in the rain.
Nice! I like the picture, did you draw it? I would love to do constructive(and positive, of course!) criticism on both, but I need to permission. I've PO'd too many people IRL...
Okay then! The only thing I had about the drawing was that the boy's face was...and they looked like Bella and Edward, since the boy was glowing...
I really liked you poem, it was pretty nice. In the first stanza, I thought that it would have a pattern to it, which would have been epic, but I still liked how you did it. Only thing is that line 3 was different from the rest of the poem, like a break in the flow. It was like..pain, pain, happy, pain(all next stanza), transitioning into happiness(all the stanza). The third line was really different. But otherwise I love it!
And I am open to any criticism. :3
I really liked you poem, it was pretty nice. In the first stanza, I thought that it would have a pattern to it, which would have been epic, but I still liked how you did it. Only thing is that line 3 was different from the rest of the poem, like a break in the flow. It was like..pain, pain, happy, pain(all next stanza), transitioning into happiness(all the stanza). The third line was really different. But otherwise I love it!